How NOT to make Candied Jalapeno

Eh, it was only 8 oz of Jalapenos.

Jalapenos are not that hot, i can handle it.

Cant find my gloves, it will be fine.

DO NOT DO THIS! Well, actually, you can do all of this, if you wear gloves for the “dice peppers” instruction.

Rinse peppers. Dice peppers. Boil 6 oz of sugar with 3 oz of water. Put diced peppers into sugar syrup. Cook for 20 minutes or so. Cool.

If you do this, you will have candied jalapeno peppers. If you did this without wearing gloves, then you have more in store!

Such as BURNING HANDS FOR FOUR HOURS! Man. It didnt hurt while I was doing it. As I was cleaning up, I noticed a slight tinge. The pain grew in intensity until it was HUMONGOUS!

(This next paragraph is kinda gross. Feel free to skip it.)

I tried soap. I tried oil. I tried (separately) lemon juice, milk, sour cream, canola oil, bleach, baking soda, and ice water. I even tried urine (surprisingly, it hurt while, ahem, being applied, but felt much better afterwards, until my inner germaphobe that doesn’t come out that much started freaking out and I washed my hands. Pain returned.)

The ice water was the most soothing, while my hand was in the water. I think the residual pain I feel might be a bit of frostnip.

What finally worked was Solarcaine. I asked the very nice (and cute) pharmacist at the 24 hour pharmacy if what I had would work, and they suggested this.

I sprayed it on my hands outside, and the PAIN WENT AWAY! It came back, so I sprayed it a few times (I hope that its not possible to overdose on lidocaine, but it never felt tingly numb.)

So, in short, use gloves and do not touch the peppers. But, make the candied jalapenos :)

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